The list of activities that I wish to cut down on in my life is easy. Simply stated I work entirely too much. I have forgotten how to loosen up and have fun, how to take time off for me and to throw caution to the wind and plan activities that I enjoy. I rush to work to rush through life.
The list of people is much more complex. My family and children will always be my focus. Time spent with them is rewarding and fulfilling although I would like to include many more get a ways and fun activities in with the time I spend with them. Relationships as of late have been a bit cumbersome as I have very little time and energy left over in a week to spend quality time with my lady. I feel that this fact puts me in a position of not fulfilling her needs.
Truthfully, I have not been spending enough quality time alone to regain touch with myself. I feel as if I run from job to job, from person to person, relationship to relationship and never really slow down enough to drink a cup of coffee at sunrise or enjoy time outdoors exploring nature’s bounty as I dream of doing.
As far as truly knowing others in my life I can’t say that I have truly taken the time to get past work relationships as a form of socialization. There are many people I would like to meet but until I wrestle away enough time for me I feel it is for not. I hesitate to reacquaint myself with several people from my past as there seems to be no depth beyond partying like the high school heathens we were. Perhaps maturity or common sense has kicked in, but I long for discovery rather than rediscovery.
Recreation in the form of hiking, kayaking, camping, hunting and fishing are a few things that I used to live for and have since forgotten in the day to day rush of life. I also miss playing competitive sports such as softball. I realized this over the summer as I watched my daughter play her first season of youth softball. Perhaps this pursuit will give me reason and purpose in my daily work outs.
Simply put, I need some free time to pursue life on a whim. No deadlines, no time lines, no alarms, no schedules. Time to put life on a slow burn.
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1 comment:
"I long for discovery rather than rediscovery."
This is such a poignant calling out of the soul and the simple statement touched me to my depths.
I understand.
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